Ugh.. If marriage is what is being portrait by my parents, then I’d rather remain single and lock myself up in a convent and swear to a life of celibacy.

The mooses are driving me nuts with their constant squabbles that puts the kids to shame. Not only are they constantly trying to bite and snap their jaws at each other or me when the other is not present, they are getting overboard with trying to put me as a refree.

Harlow!! I got more than enough Patrick and Spongebob diabolical clones to drive me to a convent. Gah! Why must I put up with the little family squabbles and getting stuck as the mediator of these messes. Thank god, my elder sister has the kids on her tight leash, else I swear I’ll become the nest Jason and start sawing people.

So just to please and save the small resemblance of peace and quiet, I had to resort to becoming the scapegoat.

Tips on saving my family sanity:

1) Always claim the blame of any problems which had arise even up to the miss in the washing the toilet schedule.

2) Never say its not your fault. When you see another quarrel coming, swallow the conscience and claim all the blame and quickly rectify the problem and loudly inform that the problem has been settled. — A way to shut the necessary noises from erupting

3) Always smile and laugh your way through even though the comments that pass over your head makes your grit your teeth. — Hey your trying to save your mom and dad from becoming two hungry crocs remember.

4) When you smell trouble brewing when they are in deep conversation, grin and step into the conversation and TRY to change the subject and make sure the subject you change is not pertinent to any sensitive issues like family members etc..

5) If any of your siblings are the cause of your parents agitation or moody tension, pick up the phone or if better meet them face to face and give them a piece of your mind. You don’t need any extra fat to add to the fire.

6) Make hot drinks or your parents favourite drink as a peace offering when they’re in hot mood. Or you can also stuff it down their throat if it backfires.. ugh best not to do the latter.. it will surely be backfired.

7) If you need to release the tension from all the maelstorm, get a down feather pillow and scream your frustration out.  Make sure you don’t let your parents hear, least they think you’re nuts.

If all of the above doesn’t work, sign yourself to the nearest mad house and make sure you have a personal caretaker who is cute looking and has a tight cute butt. hehehe…

Haiz.. the things I do for the people I love.. Too much.. Really too much these people..

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