It seems that sex is a taboo topic in Malaysia. Perhaps its the way we were brought up in where kids are not allowed to know anything more about sex other than how Bees and Flowers meet, or somewhere in between that line. Being left in the dark and rarely explained to them fully in their Health Ed and Science Lessons about the complexity of pre-marital sex.

Kids are still unsure as what a condom, IUD or even a morning pill is used for, not to mention the features of each item. There are a few times when I did catch a science teacher referring a condom as a balloon, blushing away while sputtering the uses of it in vague terms. What is the point of stuttering and creating a blanket screen if the true term and use of the birth control methods are not explained properly in details.

Teachers need to understand and realise that this is no longer the Atap Students where there are no TV, the nearest cinema is situated miles away etc. They have to realise that kids these days are more curious, more adventurous and wants to know more. It is best that the teachers open up and teach them everything they need to know bout sex and the prevention method of pregnancy.

At least the students will know what will happen to them should they breach the threshold of pre-marital sex. I remembered the time when my school mates and I had to sit for a sex talk in our Secondary 3 years. The video was filled with gruesome pictures of aborted babies, STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) and the repercussion of what will happen to the partners should they not take precaution in having pre-marital sex activities.

Sure the lecturers from the health ministry had tried to drill the impact of being charged of statutory rape should a couple or either of the partners indulge in pre-marital sex under the age of 14yrs old (Singapore), 16yrs old (Malaysia). But teenagers, hey, we strive to be different and test the forbidden waters. The more the adults say NO, all the more reason the teenagers would want to try to know why.

So let’s ditch the whole keeping sex topic under the covers and expose them. But don’t misunderstand me. I do not support pre-marital sex moreover indulging in any acts that may lead to pre-marital sex. I’m a Muslim and after reading at the sickening news of Muslim women abandoning their new borns by the dumpster, toilet bowls, roadside etc, I am writing this only to stop or at least make some couple realise what will happen to them in the acts of premarital sex.

If you want to have sex before marriage, please take up these precaution to avoid STD, diseases which can be transmit to your sex partner, and an unwanted child which will usually resort to aborted fetus. All of the prevention stated below are only for temporary use only, not permanent.

Male Condom in Packs

1) Use a condom:- Even though it doesn’t 100% stop the sperm contained because even a small tear or even a pin hole on the condom can cause a large amount of sperm to escape and entering the female vagina. Used usually by men and placed over the penis BEFORE intercourse, not after. And NO it is not a balloon meant for kids. To learn how to use it and the safety precautions to take when using it during sexual intercourse, click here.

2) Female Condom:- Surprised? Well it’s not a new thing since it has been manufactured from 1992. The effect is the same as the male condom except it’s meant for women and used differently. At each end of the condom there is a flexible ring. At the closed end of the sheath, the flexible ring is inserted into the vagina to hold the female condom in place, you need lubrication to hold it in place.

At the other open end of the sheath, the ring stays outside the vulva at the entrance to the vagina. This ring acts as a guide during penetration and it also stops the sheath bunching up inside the vagina. It is advisable not to use a male condom when using a female condom for the friction will cause the female condom to tear or bunch up, desisting the effect of the female condom.

You can view the details of using the female condom and the advantages of using it here.

3) IUD (Intrauterine Devices): Used for women, made of plastic or metal coils. A professional doctor will have to insert the IUD into the uterus to prevent the implantation of sperm. It can be left inside the uterus for 2-3yrs and once its removed, pregnancy can take place.

However it can cause a side effect like irregular menstrual flow, doesn’t prevent infection of  STD and HIV, causes cramps and will increase the risk of pelvic inflamatory disease and infertility. Below is a video of how an IUD is inserted.

4) Spermicide:- It is a chemical used to kill or block sperms before they reach the uterus. It comes in the forms of contraceptive foam, which is a spermicide in an aerosol form, is inserted deep into your vagina using a small applicator.

Contraceptive cream or jelly can also be inserted deep into the vagina with a small applicator. Contraceptive creams or jellies are good to use with diaphragms. Follow the directions on the package.

You should insert foams, creams, or jellies no more than 30-60 minutes before you have intercourse. You should wait several minutes after you insert them before you have intercourse.

The small, oval-shaped vaginal suppositories are placed deep in the vagina and release a contraceptive foam 10-15 minutes after you insert one. Because of this, you should not have intercourse until 15 minutes after insertion, so there is time for the foaming to occur.

A vaginal contraceptive film (VCF) is a 2-inch by 2-inch flat package with wax paper-like tissues, each containing the spermicide nonoxynol-9. You should put the film on a dry fingertip and insert it up into the vagina at least 15 minutes before you have intercourse.

The effectiveness of the spermicides usually lasts only for about an hour, so you will need to insert more if you are having sexual intercourse for more than an hour. Each time you have sexual intercourse, you should insert more spermicide into your vagina.

However our teachers didn’t inform us that it will cause soreness in the vagina, rash in or around the vagina and create a discharge that smells bad or that comes in a larger amount than normal. Why does the side effect always affect women..

**(info is taken from Young Women Health Organisation)

5) Contraceptive Pills:- It is consumed by women to prevent ovulation. It has a few different types but all of them have a common role, manipulating the hormones of the woman.

The pill contains chemicals called hormones. One type of pill called ‘the combined pill’ has two hormones called Oestrogen and Progestogen. The combined pill stops the release of an egg every month – but doesn’t stop periods.

The other type of pill only has Progestogen in it. It works by altering the mucous lining of the vagina to make it thicker. The sperm cannot then get through, and as the sperm can’t meet the egg, the girl can’t get pregnant.

Women can also now use the injectable hormanal contraceptive. It works exactly like the pills except it is injectable and the woman only needs to take it once in every 12 weeks.

However the side effect of the hormonal pills will cause mood swings, weight gain, breast tenderness, nausea and headaches. But it varies from woman to woman. It is best and advisable to get the advice of a family doctor to get the correct pill type for you.

6) Morning Pill a.k.a Emergency Pill:- The emergency contraceptive or ‘morning after’ pill is an oral contraceptive pill that can be obtained on prescription from you doctor or local sexual health clinic. This method is only to prevent pregnancy and it doesn’t prevent the infection of STD

There are a few different types of morning-after-pills available, but most modern forms consist of a single tablet that is swallowed with water. For this method to work, it must be taken within 3 days (72 hours) of having sex, although the sooner the pill is taken, the more likely it is to be effective. The side effect is almost the same to contraceptive pills.

However should you find yourself pregnant and it is unwanted, think it through. Do not carry the fetus half way through pregnancy only to realise you made the biggest mistake of your life by having a baby and then took the easy way out by throwing your new baby out in the street.

Approach your nearest help care, I’ve searched and shortlisted a site that has all the non-profitable welfare organization and you can view the help cares here.

But if you still wish for an abortion, well.. I hope you’re in for the ride of your life. I’m not going easy on this so..

Remember, it is still advisable not to have sex before marriage especially if you are a Muslim. I do hope this info proves useful and if it can avoid and create awareness amongst teenagers, than I’m happy that I got my job done.