Perhaps I am born with a good nature. Perhaps I am just too soft hearted. Years back when I was a teenager, if someone sets to make me angry, disappointed or sad, my mind is dead set in making the culprit the evil overlord. Revenge would be the first thing on my mind and I would do it till all of his/her weakness meet with my ferocious monster.

But now it is totally different. Whatever injustice the person has done to me instead of feeling angry, I’d just smile it off be left with a feeling of emptiness and loneliness. Sure I have my lovely family to support me and luckily on they I can count on.

Others whom I have bothered with caring affection has disappointed me. Why is it always I have to understand them why none bothered to understand me? It’s funny how many times I’ve been made a fool of, I never did learn my lesson.

If being with me as a friend or just having me around is too much of a hassle, then tell me and walk away. I don’t mind, at least I know where I stand. But it just doesn’t happen that way. Don’t make me look and feel I’m the idiot in all the mess. Haizzz…

In the end, I get hurt all over again and the cycle of hurt continues. Perhaps it is better being in isolation than having people who are hypocrites.

It was 8am or so when both dad and I fell off our bike. Of all the places to fall off our bike, it is a corner where we were riding at very slow speed. But then the corner was filled with pebbled stones that were use to make roads. Since the stones were not firmly packed enough, our balance were not there and we got thrown off the bike. Well I got thrown off while my dad was flattened by the bike.

I had panicked on seeing my dad lying flat on the ground and scrambled to pull the bike off him as it was crushing his leg. Luckily his leg was fine and the only injury he had was on his ribs as he fell hard on his ribs.

Thanks to my daily stretching (not on those fitness equipment), I was agile enough and the strain that would normally left a person with strained or twisted ankle or knee didn’t affect me. I had to thank the locals who were having breakfast at the nearby kopitiam as they had helped me carry the bike off my dad and pushed it off to the side. The bike chain was off the track but they easily kicked it in.

Anyway dad is recovering right now and I’m putting off any further rides or deliveries for him.

I’m itching to head out of JB for a good rest. I’ve been thinking of heading to Melaka and do a little bit of shopping or perhaps a few sight seeing. I deserve the rest since it’s been a very long time since I took a good day off. It will be a day trip and via bus. I can’t ride the bike there or I’ll confirm lose my butt somewhere along the road.

I had initially wanted to do some road trip to Kota Tinggi but after some hiccups, I’ve changed my mind. I get irritated everytime I had nicely planned and arranged all of my schedule for the day off and but things doesn’t go as planned.

Sometimes I wonder if I am being too lenient on people that I’m constantly being stepped upon at every second they change their fancy. The irony of it all, is it always end up as if I am the demanding one and the terrible ogre. Grr.. If I had turned into Syikin The Terrible, I’d not be the ogre but I’ll be the very demon that haunts their nightmare.

So they say I’m relentless.. I’m uncooperative but why can’t they understand that I too have a job and a life even though my job seems flexible? I’ve already allocate my free days for them but now change again.. and then change the place of outing and now reduce to a meager hour. Might as well don’t meet up.

Haiz.. Anyway if anyone who is in need of help from Mesothelioma you may click on the link to study more.

I’ve been very lethargic and sleepy these past few days. My wisedom tooth is acting up on me again and this time it wants to show to the world how it is still growing in my gums. I kept to a boring diet of just porridge and any side dish that doesn’t include hard chewing, eating has been reduced to become a torture.

A lot of things have happened and I am invited to a house opening by an old acquaintance from school this Sunday. I am not sure if I can make it or not but hopefully I can.

My toothache is killing me now. Need to take a nap before I faint from the pain… GRRRR

If I could change the past there are plenty of things that I would with gladness. My heart pains and I get stress every moment something or someone bothers me with nonsense. It is not a good thing to my health as I will get gastric attacks which will result me in vomiting non-stopping.

I don’t like to be bothered by small problems which I, in the first place, do not have any connection to. You got a problem amongst yourself, get out of my sight and settle it amongst yourself. Don’t get me involve, don’t get anyone else involve. The last time I tried to help people like these, I got a spat to my face.

Don’t try playing politics in front of me because I will not listen a word you say. Don’t even try to get others to side with you cause I will make sure I will give you more than an earful if I knew of it.

I had enough of playing nice and smiling my way watching your nonsense. I will not cover your crap anymore and will drag you to the pits of hell if you mess with me the next time.

So shove off and leave me alone!

Finally after long hard days and weeks, the house is silent with no cheruby legs running amok. I love the kids and adore them to the core but having a day all to myself once in a while is heavenly.  No noise and mess to clean up, just me, the bed and heavenly pillow.

Seriously I am dead tired. My brain has not stopped working for a few weeks in a row and last night I almost fell asleep during my accounts discussion with my darling. Amazingly when I tried to fall asleep lastnight, the one most important thing that I needed eludes me, making me a walking zombie this morning.

Plenty of eventful things happened this week and the whole tempest left my head spinning and took a major chunk of my heart out. There were laughters and there were lots of heart pain but that is a scenario I do not want to repeat to anyone.

I did watch Shrek Forever After last Thursday, the first screening of the show. It was fun-tastic and since it was a weekday, the cinema was almost empty. Even though it was almost empty, our roaring laughters made up for the empty seats. I love Puss In Boots since he is soooo cute and managed to be chivalrous even when he had sported a huge pot belly and not to mention manipulative.

The movie really made me realise to appreciate and love the ones whom I still have. It also managed to make me shed a tear or two when Shrek confessed that the best thing he had ever experienced was to fall in love with Fiona all over again. It was truly touching. And yes, this is the movie not to be missed since it is the finale of the whole saga.

Yesterday at around 9.15am I was robbed. I was robbed right around 10m away from my house, just around the corner of my house. Luckily I was with my younger sister and another friend else I would have lost something more than just a handphone. Yes, I lost my pass-me-down handphone, Sony Ericsson W950, 3Mp camera. I was robbed at Jalan Undan 5, Taman Perling, JB.

I have never felt so cheated and frustrated in  all my life. I did try to run after his Honda Ex5 but the bloody idiot was too fast for my short legs. I did made a police report and the police officers had immediately contacted all their patrol cars. In Malaysia, snatch thief or Ragut/ Samun in the local language is a very serious offence. So I wasn’t surprised to find the roads littered with patrol cars and some stopping suspicious looking vehicles by the road shoulder.

The idiot ( I had thought a better foul name to use on him but since this is a public blog..) is in his 30s, Chinese man, skinny with a a deformed lips and front teeth. He used a false plate number JEM 603, dark blue Honda ex5 with his right handle bars broken. He was wearing a red collar shirt, a pair of worn black bermudas and a pair of black Everlast shoes. He should have been in Perling still at 9.30am yesterday.

If anyone had seen that monkey, please..please tell me so I can make him into putty and then  hand him over to the police. I really would love to see his bloody face imprinted on my helmet.

I’m having a headache, a slight fever and more headache. My favourite and latest design safety glasses have broken into two. It has a 100% UV protection, can be used for welding and its polarised!!! Now its broken… No doubt I got the pair last year but that was my baby!

I wore it everywhere and even to my meetings since it becomes a handy head scarf whenever I couldn’t find my clips. My poor baby had been through thick and thin (layers of dust gotten from dusty areas) together with me. Now.. RIP Rip Into Pieces.

Haiz.. Now I got to find a new pair. Time to go shopping again… Haiz…

Not really sure what is happening to me but I’ve realised that I have not been having a decent 6hrs of sleep per day. I usually went into my room to sleep at 11pm latest but in the end manage to shut my brain at 12++am. I would be awake by 5.30am and sometimes as early as 3am and then wait torturously for the night to slip by.

I had avoided all forms of caffeine a few hours before bed time and even drank chamomile tea to sleep peacefully. Too bad it doesn’t work on me. I have been browsing the pharmacies for the best over the counter sleep aid but didn’t get any. I don’t like putting synthetic chemicals in my system even if it aids me.

So in the end I have decided to exhaust myself both physically and mentally until my system rings the alarms bell. Really need some good rest.

It is one of the days when everything I do comes back spitting out at me. I kept losing all my pens no matter how many times I have searched for them and got new ones, they still went missing after a few days. I have feeling that my pens have small hair like legs and crawls around the house when everyone is asleep.

My monthly backaches has come to avenge itself by pounding my pain meter to 100%. Everything I eat tasted bland and I yesterday I found out that my uncle had an accident that left him with broken leg, accident wounds and warded in the ICU for a few hours.

The students whom I have been tutoring had a nice wake up call least week when they sat for my mock exam papers. I took the past year papers for SPM and PMR and gave them each their respective papers. The result was disastrous. None of them passed and realised that they have been sleeping for a long time and if it still continues, they will never pass their exams.

Which was why I came up with a new regimental routine for their self studies that involves in daily revision of every chapters from Form 1 and loading them up with mountains of homework. It is about time they realise that homework = revision = passing the exams with flying colors.

I have also embarrassingly found out that benzoyl peroxide is actually Oxy Acne Remover. I had a tough time trying to find what the product was until I read the large fonts underneath the Oxy brand on the front of the box. I had wanted to purchase benzoyl peroxide from acnescarremoval.org for my younger sister since she has a bad case of teenage hormonal changes.

But ever since I found out that Benzoyl Peroxide is Oxy, I can just head to any pharmacies or Watsons and get the acne cream.

And by the way, Jom Heboh Malaysia is opening this Saturday at Danga Bay. Is anyone attending? I’m not sure since the jam would be massive and I am not going to get caught in the jam that will result in spending lots of time in the bus more than shopping at Jom Heboh.